This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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