week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
