i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Randomize
