well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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