I never want to see another naked old woman again.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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