There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Randomize
