i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
My vagina just clenched in fear
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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