So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Randomize
