Can Purell be used as lube?
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
