so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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