Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
