Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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