there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
