I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
