Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Your tits are I can't wait for
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
No I am not eating basil off your cock
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
