so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
