i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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