Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
