it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
