I must be too annoying 4 u.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
