found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
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