Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
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