its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
