Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
