its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
