do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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