I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
