I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
