we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
