I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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