If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Randomize
