Christians are straight up FREAKS
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
It was like giving head to a cactus.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
