If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
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