can u get pink eye on your cock?
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
