I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
