That's intense
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
