Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
