Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Soap is not a condiment
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
he shaved USA in his pubs
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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