Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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