i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
