guys are not supposed to queef...right?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Randomize
