sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
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