Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
