I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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