Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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