At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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