those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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