dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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