Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
