I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
