Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
